Dancing In My Bedroom

It is 5:30 AM. Anu Boo — for the uninitiated, she is my best friend who walks on four legs — prances around the bedroom. She is a heavy slumberer. If she is walking across the room anxiously, then something must be wrong. The pitter-patter of her toes grows louder. I have to switch on the light, spot what’s bothering her, and give her a respite.

My night was terrible. When I slipped into the transient darkness, my chest was heavy with regrets, my eyes were dry after shedding tears, my mind was exhausted. I had been hearing my own voices in my head again: You are not enough. You are a failure. You are pushing all your people away. You are going to rot in isolation. You don’t learn. The words assumed the form of cymbals; they crashed and crashed and crashed.

DOF_u_cVQAAaNYuAnu Boo now pushes her wet nose against mine. The final call. I turn the lights on.

There is a cockroach in the room. It’s cat-walking from one end to the other.

Here is a lesson: Not all dogs are mindlessly brave. They take calculated risks. A lesson that I must learn. Ahem. Ahem.

The cockroach is oblivious to our presence. It is ambling around the room like it’s enjoying its morning walk on a promenade.

Anu Boo looks at the cockroach and then turns toward me. A question. “What are you going to do about this thing, Deepika?”

I ask her to stay. I am sure Anu Boo would have thought that I am a nincompoop. She wants me to eliminate the cockroach, but I ask her to stay. She is visibly miffed. I stand in front of the cockroach, which is now dodging my feet and continuing its brisk morning walk. I recognise the need to phone The Dalai Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh to seek some counsel on how to remove a cockroach from my room without hurting it. It’s too early to ring the gentlemen anyway.

So, I am left with the daunting task of requesting the cockroach to leave our room, so Anu Boo can rest for a while. Because her morning duties have to be begun in a short while. Like barking at the milkman, the newspaper boy… Some folks enjoy their routine okay?

I shuffle my feet, perform a pirouette in front of the cockroach. Some dance in the morning! The tiny thing has chosen to ignore my performance. I dance again to block its movement. It keeps marching. Anu Boo shoots an accusatory glance at me. “Woman! Like really! You are dancing with a cockroach at 5:30 AM, when you really know that I am sleep-deprived?”

All right! I can’t allow the insect too to question my worth. I will have to win my dog’s trust again. I pull up my pajama a wee bit and kick the cockroach. Just a gentle kick. Like turning a ship’s sail. To my surprise, the cockroach slides toward the door. “See, Anu! This is working.” She is in the living room. I do not know when she walked out on me. Her countenance is morose as though a smile will not be offered until I complete the task. Okay. Challenge accepted.

I do a little gig again, sway my hips, move my feet this way and that way, and steer the cockroach toward the bathroom. The single-minded cockroach resists. Its unwavering determination melts my heart. Hey! But I have to please my dog. I am sorry, Cockroach! Although I am in awe of your audacity and hope, I have work to do.

My impromptu dance goes on and the cockroach enters the bathroom. I shut the door. I can feel my canine friend’s judgmental eyes tracing my movements. As I walk toward her, I tell her, “It’s all clear now. Go back to bed. You can trust me okay?” She cocks her head, weighing the truth in my words. I genuflect. Now my face is against hers. “At least you please? Trust me. Go.” She reluctantly goes back to our bedroom. I think I won.

What did I tell you about feeling shitty about myself last night? Now I don’t have the time to ruminate on that subject, because there are more critical, immediate things to do. Like saving my irascible dog from a pliant cockroach.


6 thoughts on “Dancing In My Bedroom

  1. Madhvi Vivek November 17, 2017 / 3:05 am

    This is seriously the best thing I read this morning, which was otherwise only picking up with slack. The scene played in front of my eyes, Deepika, the way you painted the words across your canvas of The Zennish Panda. The way Anu Boo must have looked at you, the way the cockroach must have not given up scurrying, while really taking quick steps, from one end of the room to the other, least bothered by the clicking of her paws on the floor, let alone your feet! Friday is turning out to be FriYay! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bina November 21, 2017 / 4:45 am

    Finally, I have found my way to your second blog as well! 🙂 And such a lovely one, I really love the cute panda pic in your sidebar! Oh and again I am sending hugs, you are such a lovely person Deepika, I think I will just need to tell you all the time, so that it sticks! ❤
    I can so imagine Boo’s skeptical looks and you dancing away the cockroach! I hope you sleep like a baby tonight and Boo as well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deepika Ramesh November 21, 2017 / 5:48 am

      Awwww, Bina! Thank you for finding this blog. And thank you for being kind to us. I am grateful for being compassionate. It means a lot. 😀 😀 ❤ Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. whisperinggums November 23, 2017 / 5:35 pm

    Haha, love this story, Deepika. Your honesty and your ability to laugh at yourself are inspirational. Don’t ever forget that.

    Liked by 1 person

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